Introduction - continued

Out into the street again and that same clock strikes simultaneously with the church bells. For sure there will be a fire in the town, a pretty safe bet in modern towns. But to make matters worse, you speak with a friend that passes while the clock is still striking - more bad luck. And all that shirt-changing has given you a chill. You sneeze without putting your hand in front of your mouth. Now you're in real trouble for your soul has unceremoniously escaped from your body. Just your luck. And on a day like today, you haven't even got to the train station yet!

You arrive at the station and get on the train. Amazing really, when you think of your luck so far, that you've managed to survive without falling under the wheels of the train and dying on the spot! But, oh dear! You look down at your shoes and realize that not only have you got a broken shoelace but you have put your shoes on the wrong feet!!

Now, apart from the intense embarrassment involved in sitting on a crowded commuter train and having to switch your shoes, you also have to display to everyone present that you are walking around like a bum with broken shoelaces. Both these events will have added to your barometre of bad luck by several points. In your rising sense of unease you place the offending shoe on the table of the train compartment. Oh my God! For sure there will be serious quarrel in your house-hold when you get home tonight, and thunder and lightning will strike before too long. The shoes must never after be worn if placed on a table, for such shoes can only thence forward be employed for the long walk into the underworld!

So, in the midst of clashing skies, broken shoelaces, sore feet, and impending household unrest, to say nothing of a heap of bad fortune hanging around your neck like an albatross, you stagger in to work, fall headlong through the door of your office and slump into your desk chair in the certain knowledge that if the day isn't your last then for sure you will be fired from your job, have a serious accident in the traffic, and end up divorced and mutilated for the rest of your life. Better not budge. Stay put for the whole day and perhaps you might avoid the fates and their devastating rigors. Who knows, you might be luckier this afternoon.

But you still have to get through your lunch without event. You decide, given the uncertainties of the morning and the fact that your horoscope in the morning newspaper was not very encouraging, to stay in for lunch. You make some toast in the staffroom office, and while you wait for your toast, a work colleague introduces you to the new worker and you fall into deep conversation forgetting all about your toast! Alas, more bad luck. As the Devil loves burnt toast and because of this, you have invited him to accompany you in the afterlife, and now you've placed the butter knife down with the blade facing towards you!  Placing a knife on a table with the blade pointing towards you brings quickly to a painful death. Well, you've just put yourself in an even worse situation than before. You better hurry to make amends with the fates, quickly chant this incantation:

"Father Jesus, come unto me,
Forgive and bless, I pray of thee.
Terrible sins my past commit,
Unto thee, my soul submits."

Whew! You saved yourself from the Devil.  Let's just hope that protects you for the rest of the day.

So in only half a day, you have managed to gain seven years of bad luck, kill a married couple, bring thunder, lightning and anger to your household, allow your soul to escape your body unceremoniously, invite the Devil to accompany you in the afterlife, put your shirt on inside-out, put your shoes on the wrong feet, prepare them for the long walk to the underworld, and completely embarrass yourself on the way to work.

What more could you possibly do to make things worse?